Broetry Poetry Slam: ‘Portrait of a Bro’ in Spoken Word [VIDEO]

To promote the amusing book Broetry, which is a collection of poems from the “bro” perspective, Geekadelphia and Quirk Books held a Broetry Slam at National Mechanics, a bar in Old City Philadelphia. Attendees were encouraged to come with a broetry of their own to compete for a crown and a swag bag of great books from Quirk. Not only did I participate, yes, I indeed won. I was awarded a cool collection of books by Quirk Books employee Doogie Horner, a comedian whom I wrote about last month.

It was something of a spoken word. ..Because of that, I apologize to all people who do wonderful, beautiful, artistic things with spoken word. I am well aware that I may have killed the art form.

Indeed this may be an honor of great regard. We’ll see. Organizer Eric Smith swears to me that video of my performance is going to make it to the internets to find out, so for now, just enjoy these clearly powerful words. In my defense, I wrote this an hour before the event. Details of the event by Quirk Books here.

I participated in a Broetry Slam.

  1. You think you’ve seen a Bro? Oh no.
  2. I’ve seen bros upon Bros — hair up, flip flops down — attacking young women without any self control.
  3. I’m not, in practice, a Bro by most standards and lines.
  4. But I’ve ridden side saddle with a number of them from time to time.
  5. Have you even been to the gym? Gone out to a club? Needed someone to come and disrupt
  6. Your trip down the shore, with tidal wave-like calms
  7. That group of dudes kicking off the night by pounding some Yaagerbombs.
  8. The sight is spectacular, when the bass shakes the ground from that new tricked out Acura
  9. They all climb out, with their bravado to sell, heads glistening like if the morning dew wore hair gel
  10. These are pack animals, so no need to size them up and think of the cost of that solo hurt.
  11. Cool to rage in a moment, if you so much as touch that new pastel colored LaCoste polo shirt
  12. But for all this disdain, their numbers they swell and they strain, and the facts remain plain.
  13. You may think it insane and feel urged to complain, but, in truth, if you can’t beat them, no need for to cry.
  14. I’ll just flip up my collar, toss on these sunglasses, find a team of good women, and give the Bro-life a try.

4 thoughts on “Broetry Poetry Slam: ‘Portrait of a Bro’ in Spoken Word [VIDEO]”

  1. HA, those are great. “key-turn solution!”

    In terms of the next Broetry slam, well, that’s a question for Eric Smith of Geekadelphia over at Eric [at] geekadelphia.com!
    -cgw

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